On Sunday, October 30th, Durham completed the last of his 5 million steps, reaching Springer Mountain 119 days after he summitted Mount Katahdin. I first met Durham about a mile from the top of Katahdin. He was just coming down from the peak and Kristin and I were on our way up. We met again at the Abol Bridge store, just outside Baxter State Park and we hiked together for the next few days until I decided to go home. I’m extremely happy that Durham and Ridge (his dog) completed their hike, though it pained me to follow his journey because it was a constant reminder to me of what could have been.
Durham and his dog, Ridge.
Despite the fact that I missed my wife terribly, and my inability to moderate my mileage likely cost me my hike, I now regret not pushing through those doubts. In the moment I lost sight of how precious an opportunity I had in my hands and I gave up too easily. My regret is not that I quit, but that I quit too soon. I’ll probably never step foot on the AT again without feeling the hurt of a missed opportunity, unless I one day put this dream to bed for good.
In September I returned to work and the combination of my failed thru-hike attempt, and my re-realization that I can’t sit in an office any longer, has crystallized the idea in my mind that I need to change my life. I watched Steve Job’s Commencement speech to the graduates of Stanford’s Class of 2005 the other night and in it, he said, “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? And whenever the answer has been no for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.” I handed in my resignation letter 11 days after returning to work. I knew it was time to make that change. My last day is set for the end of December.
There’s a small part of me that wants to make another thru-hike attempt again this upcoming Spring, with Kristin by my side. She’s already said she’s game if it’s that important to me. However, we have other irons in the fire. Maybe this dream needs to age for a decade or two, like a fine wine. Achieving it would be that much sweeter. Dreams are a funny thing. I believe they are absolutely the key to really living but I also believe that not all dreams are meant to be achieved. Kristin and I can enjoy the beauty of nature without committing five months of our lives to it, and making that commitment means delaying some things I’m not sure we want to delay any longer.
I can’t say that the last 11 years haven’t been important. The jobs, after all, have been the vehicle that is allowing my wife and I the opportunities we have now. We’re at the precipice of many of these changes and it’s scary, more scary than I ever would have imagined. I’m an introvert and a creature of comfort, but you can’t do exciting things without taking risks. So I’m learning right now how to let the fear of uncertainty in, and thrive on it. After all, I slaved away in a field I didn’t enjoy for all those years to have the chance to chase my dreams unbridled by the burden of money. It would certainly be a regret on my deathbed if I let that fear keep me from the life I imagine for us.
Our house building project is the next big dream to chase. The original plan was for me to hike the Appalachian Trail, and then build our new home in North Carolina. This project will become my full time job for the next few months. We just finished the last of the lot work two weekends ago and the next step is pouring concrete for the foundation. I’m looking forward to the physical labor and learning tons of new things (framing, plumbing, electrical, etc.). If you’re interested, you can follow that adventure at https://hampsteadhome.wordpress.com.
I have enjoyed writing this blog and I hope everyone has enjoyed reading it.
Signing off, Wade.
Hiking Thru 